Birth Story part one

So my computer is being stupid and won't read my memory card--hence the reason I don't have any pictures to put up right away. I've been thinking about posting an update about everything, but even when Jamie is sleeping it's hard for me to pull myself away! He is so perfect. I love just staring at him. Sunday evening he was really awake and we just laid parallel to each other and stared and stared. We're quite infatuated with each other. He is such a good baby! He has 3 cries: I'm hungry, I have gas, and I want mommy. The third one doesn't really happen all that much honestly. He goes great to other people. Which makes my family very happy. :] This boy is surrounded by so much love it's incredible. Even the circumstances of his birth were filled with family and love. In the words of my doula, Christine, "This child came from a salty womb and was born into an ocean of love." She's a hippie, but I love her. She also said something to the effect that nothing can go wrong with this child because of the circumstances of his birth. She's such a sweet person--she was crying when she told me this! She's attended 17 births since she started being a doula about a year ago and she mostly attends under 18 mothers and doesn't charge them for her services. Christine also said that this was the most beautiful birth she has ever attended (and the longest! ;]). Oh, and also the most dramatic. Hehe, the nurses and doctors who attended my birth also mentioned that this would be a birth they'd never forget. Well, enough teasing...here's the story!

I went into the hospital for an induction appointment Thursday August 12th, but was able to finagle my way out of it because I was only 50% effaced and not dilated at all. It was a struggle since, in the words of the resident (boo hiss), "when people make an appointment we like them to follow through." To cover themselves legally they made me sign a AMA (Against Medical Advice) form which I'd like to have framed. Just because. Makes me sound like such a rebel. Which I totally wasn't being by the way! Everyone who came in to look at me had the undertone of knowing that an induction wouldn't take and I'd probably end up having a cesarean. *fyi: I am *not* against all cesareans! I would, of course, have an emergency cesarean if it was necessary. I am not, however, in favor of having an elect cesarean. I would like to avoid the circumstances that would domino into the requirement of an emergency cesarean. Hence, why I didn't want to be induced under unfavorable cervical conditions that Thursday when my ob/gyn agreed that I could stand to have a few more days without any extra risk to the baby and myself. So, back to my story. My ob/gyn (a condescending woman who pulls out the dead baby card A LOT and with whom I often argue with, but we end up getting more honest communication going that way) agreed that I could wait until Sunday night to be induced. Awesome! 3 more days!

Except nothing happened. I should let you know that prior to my Thursday night induction I had been taking a Blue and Black Kohosh tincture regularly. They are powerful herbs that are *supposed* to put you into labor within 5 hours. I took it for 3 days with nothing to show for it. Hence another reason I was pretty sure I wouldn't go into labor with pitocin (later I found out how right I was). Anyways, I walked and hiked around a LOT those three days, but had nothing to show for it except aching calves. So I went in to the hospital Sunday night to be induced. Once I was there they checked my cervix and I was 1 1/2 cm dilated! I was seriously estatic. I didn't think anything had changed and was worried about trying an induction when I still had an unfavorable cervix. But still, 1 1/2 cm is not that much (some women can be at a 2 or 3 cm for weeks before going into labor), so I decided to try the Vulvibulb. Okay, this is a little graphic, but it's basically a long tube they insert into your uterus that they fill with fluid to create pressure on the cervix. Looks something like this: -------O (I'd be lying down...) Google it if you're confused because I'm done explaining. The idea is that after its inserted and filled the nurses come in every few hours to tug on it and eventually it'll fall out and voila, I'll be dilated to a forced 4 cm. Now this rarely actually puts women into labor. It just forces you to dilate by simulating the pressure of the baby's head on the cervix. Sooo after an hour or so of some very uncomfortable (okay, miserable!) cramping due to this foreign object inside my cervix I was able to get some good sleep.

Monday morning! The nurse comes in, tugs, leaves. Since I am, by nature, an impatient person, I tug and it falls out. Yay! Forced 4 cm! So then they hook up my IV to pitocin to hopefully get things going. 2 units/ hr and they upped the dose by 2 units every half hour. In the meantime they try and get another IV going on my other hand for an insulin drip. Um, about 2 hours later, after one nurse dug around for about 5 min ("It was right there!") and another nurse tried and epic-ly failed ("I'm confident I can get this one in your hand." yeah, she went THROUGH the vein), yet another nurse (shift change!) came in and got one in. I could hear the hallelujah chorus by this point. YAY I love Aimee, the nurse. So anyways, after I was up to 20 units/hr of pitocin, absolutely nothing had changed. I was definitely not going into labor, despite the regular Braxton Hix-esque contractions I was having. So they took me off the pitocin that evening to flush it out of my system and let me eat, so they could start again. Monday, middle of the night-ish, they started up the pitocin again. I slept fantastically that night and by Tuesday morning it was obvious that nothing was changing. So, off the pitocin again, yay glorious food, and they started me back up AGAIN. By this time, I pretty much know the nurses and attending physicians schedules. Michelle Pham, an attending physician whom I adore, came onto her shift to see me for the second time and suggested breaking my water. She left before I made a decision only slightly joking when she told me that she "better see me in Mother/Baby!" for her next shift.

So. I was at a forced 4cm dilated, on my third round of pitocin and I had started to have some uncomfortable contractions indicating I might have started to go into early labor. These contractions were managable, but definitely made me stop and focus to get through them. I also had done a lot of squats earlier in the day to try and get Jamie to drop. By 3pm I was still only 4 cm dilated, 60% effaced, but the good news was that my cervix, which had been turned more posterior, was more oriented more anterior. The bad news was I was stationed at a -2. So. What does all this mean. If they broke my water the cord could very well slip in between the head and the opening of the cervix, causing pinched blood flow every time I had a contraction, resulting in an emergency cesarean. The cord could also get pinched somewhere else in the uterus because the cushioning of the amniotic fluid would be gone. This was all more likely to happen because Jamie's head was stationed at a -2 rather than fully dropped at a 0. Buuut I was obviously not progressing on my own and because I was being induced because of my diabetes they weren't going to send me home. Jamie had to be delivered and I was pretty much down to my last option to kickstart labor that wasn't an elect cesarean.

At 3:30pm on Tuesday, August 17th the resident (Whitney) broke my water and pretty much the very next contraction made it obvious that I had been jump started into very intense, active labor. I honestly felt like I had been hit by a freight train. I can't express how grateful I was for Christine and Stephanie for helping me breathe through the contractions. Honestly, I don't think I got more than 5 real breaks between all the contractions of my active labor phase. They would start super intense and then taper off a teeny tiny bit and then go back to being super intense. When I did get relief it was like manna from heaven. I have never done anything so difficult in my life. After 2 hours they checked my cervix and I was dilated to a 5 1/2. I have never felt so devastated in my entire life. And the doctors were like "that's so good! you're progressing on your own!." I wanted to die I was so distraught. I had no idea how I could keep going and literally not die. I kid you not. But your body does not have a "go back' button, so it kept a-going. Two agonizing hours later they checked my cervix and I was dilated to a TEN!! I have no idea how that happened, but I had never been so happy. Some of you may realize the significance of that, but to you that don't...I mean, that just doesn't happen. Progressing 4 1/2 cm in 2 hours for your first child?? I give most of the credit to Christine and Stephanie who got me to stop vocalizing during the super super strong contractions that made me double over. Once I started just breathing through them is when I think things started to move along a lot quicker. Anyways I was so happy to hear that I was fully dilated I jumped up to the squatting bar on the bed and got ready to push. I did not realize how long you can push for. Contractions are painful, but pushing is soooo exhausting. I was dripping sweat in no time. After a while my legs and feet were falling asleep from being in the squatting position and stretching them out was beginning to become more and more difficult, so I elected to move to the floor and squat at the end of the bed. So now I have some logistical explaining to do. I had 4 fluids being pumped into me via 2 IVs, one on my right arm and one on my left. When I was at the squatting bar I was facing the end of the bed and my left hand was closest to the left side of the bed where my IV was hooked up and same with my right hand and IV. When I turned around to face the head of the bed while squatting on the floor my IVs were crossed. I hope this makes sense because it gets important in the ensuing drama. So I was pushing while squatting (imagine a grande plie) and I was so hunched over when I pushed that my head was basically under the bed. Meanwhile, the doctor and nurses set up everything to deliver my baby underneath me on the floor. Right about when Jamie was about to crown the doctor asked if I'd like to get up on the bed. I was running into the same problem of my legs falling asleep and I was getting more and more uncomfortable (not to mention exhausted) so I agreed. (More like whimpered, probably.) Welllll, when I tried to get up I blacked out and was caught by a nurse behind me who couldn't move because my IVs were tangled in the squatting bar on the bed which my mom and sister couldn't figure out how to remove and my arms were being pulled because there wasn't any slack on the IVs. Yeah. That's when the doctor called for emergency and immediately there were a bajillion people in the room to help. The squatting bar was removed and the IVs given some slack and I was put back on the floor to push Jamie's head out (it was actually quite a few pushes before that happened and I honestly didn't think I could push anymore I was so out of it with exhaustion). After his head was out they lowered me alll the way onto my back and did the classic on-the-back, hands-holding-thighs, hospital bed pose to push the rest of Jamie out. Except I was on the bare floor. Apparently that's never happened before at this particular Kaiser. My new name to everyone on the floor that night who heard about it was "rockstar." No joke. Jamie's will be a birth to remember. I guess 90% of births at Kaiser end up having an epidural, so it was a unique experience for a lot of the nurses to see a natural birth as well. Now I know why it was so quiet everytime I walked around the Labor and Delivery area. I was *not* quiet.

Alright, I'm tired of typing. I'll post "part two" in the near future. It'll be about everything after Jamie was born and will be a lot less graphic and much more touching I promise. :]

Off to go stare at my miracle. <3

***mom, stephanie, dad, alysa...all those who were there :]...feel free to add whatever you remember!***